A place

Ramble No. 5:

Sometimes it’s a place that already exists, some void that needs filling. A place in your life that’s already there and simply needs to be occupied by caring for another person. For others, a place is created, specifically moulded to fit a specific person. 

We all experience pain in different ways. We are human and we fall in love. We can’t help it. More often than not, a person will experience love more than once, more than one type of love and in most cases, that relationship will not end well. In every such case, that will leave a scar and a gap if not several. Also in most cases, we will try to heal the scar and fill in the gap(s). This in itself can lead to the formation is further gaps, creating a sense of emptiness. The more that we try to understand the emptiness, the more we try to name it, the harder it becomes to rid ourselves of it.

We are human and for most of us, we feel incomplete by our lonesome because we feel incomplete even with others. This will push us to find meaning in everything that we do, meaning in life. But if we’re so stuck in our heads trying to figure out our ever-evolving selves, trying to figure out our ever changing lives, won’t we forget to live? By the time we start to understand these, won’t we have missed so much of our lives? So much of how amazingly changed we have become?

How much time do we spend trying to figure things out only to reach a point where we understand that we aren’t meant to understand every single action we decide to take. Or, every single event that takes place.

I was wondering earlier this week whether there was a magical button most of my friends have pushed to sort out their lives. How they seem to have figured their lives out but, really, I think almost all of us are in the same rut. We overcome one challenge only to be presented with another. Yet, we are stuck in procrastination for the majority of our days. We do this even though we are being productive in our lives; trying to figure something out during the commute to work, trying to understand what prompted you to take a certain action whilst on hold during a work call, trying to figure out how to respond to a text/email while doing the laundry and the list goes on.

When we can’t understand our own actions, why do we spend so much time trying to understand the actions of others? When it takes so long to untangle the web of our own thoughts, what makes us think that if we spend enough time, we can understand what someone else is thinking? Human curiosity is such a wonderful thing. We believe we can accomplish something so extremely difficult and knock the idea of accomplishing little things. Would it not be easier to take a problem-solving approach – an event has taken place due to certain actions, what is the solution now? Instead of spending ages trying to figure out how, what and why the actions that caused the event happened in the first place?

You have been hurt. There is a gap for each hurt that’s been inflicted upon you. Instead of thinking about the what, the why, the how, why not think of what you want now? What is in your life now? Who is in your life now? How is your life changing now?

We spend so much time in our heads that sometime in the near, or indeed the distant future, we will wish we had paid attention to now. This is because what happens now will not become part of our future unless we want it to, unless we choose for it to.

Don’t miss your present stuck in your past or your future. If you don’t pay attention to your present and play an active part in how it goes, your future is highly unlikely to be what you want it to. What do you want those gaps to be filled with? What kind of person do you want in your life? What is it about your present that you would like to continue into your future?

This approach will not solve all your life problems. You are most likely going to continue wondering and procrastinating and spending an inordinate amount of time over thinking things but at least life, people, events won’t pass you by whilst you are stuck in your own head. Make it yours.

Take the time to enjoy the little things happening now. Usually, they don’t remain for long.

These are things I always bang on about, mostly because changing the way I approach life has helped lessen the stress I feel, it has made life so much more enjoyable. It doesn’t take much to slowly change the way you see things, to change the way you react. This does take some time and effort and it can be a slow process but you can feel the change quite quickly once you’ve started to make those changes. It feels like taking a step in the right direction to finally arriving at your inner peace so I believe this is worth some effort.

I hope that this is as helpful for others as it has been for me.

We live in an Age of Enlightenment 

Ramble No. 4:

People have always found it strange that I enjoy learning. I enjoy absorbing new information. I enjoy learning new concepts. I enjoy reading about things that I don’t know and looking up things that make no sense to me.

We live in an age where information is a click away. If you don’t know something, you look it up and get so many different answers. You can get a short answer or a long answer that is detailed with links to further information all of which are only further clicks away. Most of us are glued to our phones or using them often . It’s part of life in this age so, why not learn new stuff?

Our brains were created to absorb information and use it, constantly. If we stop learning, it slowly starts to decay. There is just so much information out there that there is no way you wouldn’t find something that you, in particular, find interesting to learn about. Even if you don’t like reading, the same information can be available on videos or podcasts. Even memes an gifs now convey interesting information!

Next time you’re texting someone and they mention a word you’ve never heard or make a reference you don’t understand, just paste it into Google or whatever search engine you prefer. Not only will you learn something new, you can actually reply with something other than “What’s that?” which will definitely keep the conversation interesting and you might actually find it interesting yourself. You may also read/hear more about it and find more information.

We live in an age where ignorance has really become arrogance. It is normal that we are all ignorant of things we don’t know about obviously. But, it is another to remain ignorant when you are made aware of something. Even if it is not particularly something you enjoy, you can look it up just to find out what it is and go with the simpler definitions or illustrations. That way, the next time it’s mentioned, you aren’t sat clueless wondering how many more times it’ll be mentioned before you find out what it is. We all do it, at least every once in a while, just wonder. It’s normal. I think we’re all hardwired to be curious, some act on their intrigue and some don’t. I am amazed to find out that the amount of people deciding to learn and grow the amount of knowledge they hold is increasing. It’s a wonderful thing.

I used to be one of the people who, for most things, asked “What’s that?” or “what does that mean?” when I could have just as easily looked it up. Some of my interactions actually said “ever heard of Google?”. Now, I don’t mind answering people if they ask these questions because I do enjoy teaching people things they don’t know (as badly as I teach anything) because the sense of intrigue, the amazement in someone’s voice or on their face is in itself, fascinating. So whenever someone asks, I explain a little and if they seem interested, I do sometimes suggest that they look it up to “see what I mean” because I appreciate that I’m not the best with explanations (hence the numbered ramblings are titles to every post). Although, even if the explanation was good, looking it up does act as a visual aid.

Now that I’ve ranted enough about looking things up, lets do something else. Here are a few things that may be useful to learn:

  1. Get better at Excel!

Most of us will need to learn how to be good at this (in my case how to use it other than as a list) to be able to work most current jobs so why not give it a shot? It’s free and done by experts! If you’re thinking about, or starting to, work for yourself, this will definitely be useful to you.

2. Read faster!

If you’ve ever felt like your reading has slowed down, this can help. I’m dyslexic and this helped improve my reading so why not, right? It’s also free.

3. Learn a new language in your down time

This has got to be one of my personal favourites. I always found learning new languages interesting. When I was younger, I’d have happily learned more languages if there were teachers around to teach me but unfortunately, we did very basic French at school and I didn’t have the option of a private tutor to learn a third language. If I knew about Duolingo a few years ago, I’d be fluent in more than my two native languages at the moment! I started learning Spanish on it about a year ago. Just a few things when I’m going to bed (I end up dreaming of the words/phrases being learned).

Caveat: simply learning and practising on Duolingo will not make you a fluent speaker, you still need to practice it alongside other materials or with fluent speakers but it sure as hell will get you there! They’re adding new languages and improving the service constantly so it’s worth it.

4. Take better pictures

I think everyone would like to take better pictures! I’ve had a DSLR since I was about 16. I take decent pictures but I’ve always wanted to improve them so I tend to enjoy sites like this. Hopefully, I can improve before my trip this summer *fingers crossed I don’t fall into a lake*

There are so many things you can learn when you’re bored. There’s always something interesting that you do by giving it short bursts of time now and then. It isn’t an impossible or necessarily a difficult thing. Give it a shot and see how you get on.