A place

Ramble No. 5:

Sometimes it’s a place that already exists, some void that needs filling. A place in your life that’s already there and simply needs to be occupied by caring for another person. For others, a place is created, specifically moulded to fit a specific person. 

We all experience pain in different ways. We are human and we fall in love. We can’t help it. More often than not, a person will experience love more than once, more than one type of love and in most cases, that relationship will not end well. In every such case, that will leave a scar and a gap if not several. Also in most cases, we will try to heal the scar and fill in the gap(s). This in itself can lead to the formation is further gaps, creating a sense of emptiness. The more that we try to understand the emptiness, the more we try to name it, the harder it becomes to rid ourselves of it.

We are human and for most of us, we feel incomplete by our lonesome because we feel incomplete even with others. This will push us to find meaning in everything that we do, meaning in life. But if we’re so stuck in our heads trying to figure out our ever-evolving selves, trying to figure out our ever changing lives, won’t we forget to live? By the time we start to understand these, won’t we have missed so much of our lives? So much of how amazingly changed we have become?

How much time do we spend trying to figure things out only to reach a point where we understand that we aren’t meant to understand every single action we decide to take. Or, every single event that takes place.

I was wondering earlier this week whether there was a magical button most of my friends have pushed to sort out their lives. How they seem to have figured their lives out but, really, I think almost all of us are in the same rut. We overcome one challenge only to be presented with another. Yet, we are stuck in procrastination for the majority of our days. We do this even though we are being productive in our lives; trying to figure something out during the commute to work, trying to understand what prompted you to take a certain action whilst on hold during a work call, trying to figure out how to respond to a text/email while doing the laundry and the list goes on.

When we can’t understand our own actions, why do we spend so much time trying to understand the actions of others? When it takes so long to untangle the web of our own thoughts, what makes us think that if we spend enough time, we can understand what someone else is thinking? Human curiosity is such a wonderful thing. We believe we can accomplish something so extremely difficult and knock the idea of accomplishing little things. Would it not be easier to take a problem-solving approach – an event has taken place due to certain actions, what is the solution now? Instead of spending ages trying to figure out how, what and why the actions that caused the event happened in the first place?

You have been hurt. There is a gap for each hurt that’s been inflicted upon you. Instead of thinking about the what, the why, the how, why not think of what you want now? What is in your life now? Who is in your life now? How is your life changing now?

We spend so much time in our heads that sometime in the near, or indeed the distant future, we will wish we had paid attention to now. This is because what happens now will not become part of our future unless we want it to, unless we choose for it to.

Don’t miss your present stuck in your past or your future. If you don’t pay attention to your present and play an active part in how it goes, your future is highly unlikely to be what you want it to. What do you want those gaps to be filled with? What kind of person do you want in your life? What is it about your present that you would like to continue into your future?

This approach will not solve all your life problems. You are most likely going to continue wondering and procrastinating and spending an inordinate amount of time over thinking things but at least life, people, events won’t pass you by whilst you are stuck in your own head. Make it yours.

Take the time to enjoy the little things happening now. Usually, they don’t remain for long.

These are things I always bang on about, mostly because changing the way I approach life has helped lessen the stress I feel, it has made life so much more enjoyable. It doesn’t take much to slowly change the way you see things, to change the way you react. This does take some time and effort and it can be a slow process but you can feel the change quite quickly once you’ve started to make those changes. It feels like taking a step in the right direction to finally arriving at your inner peace so I believe this is worth some effort.

I hope that this is as helpful for others as it has been for me.